I suppose I feel a bit homesick for the first time in a while. I've already been here longer than I have ever been away from home. The first couple days at my new "home" were rough and I felt pretty homesick, like all I wanted was my mom and my dog but I got over it pretty quickly (not that I don't really miss them, because I do!). I just feel okay in general. But today was weird and I felt so frustrated and confused for a while at school I felt like I could cry. It all turned out fine, like I knew it would, but I just felt so angry and incompetent and like all I wanted in the world was just to be able to ask a question and get a straight answer.
Basically, what happened was it was a normal day at the school, and I was in the teacher's room after 4th period, waiting for Shorena to come in so we could go to 5th period. My other co-teacher, Nona, asked me if I had a lesson and I told her "yes, with Shorena" and she said "you were just there." And I was like "no..." because I have two lessons with Shorena on Wednesdays, 5th and 6th grades. I pulled out my schedule which is written on a piece of paper and handed it to Nona and she pointed at it and said I was just there. Then I realized that I had just come from 5th grade class during 4th period, and 5th grade class is usually during 5th period. So I was just like.... Ok..... maybe I was confusing about what period it is right now and maybe I'm supposed to go to 10th grade with Darejani (which was supposed to be 6th period). And Nona said, Oh yes, you go with Darejani. But then Darejani never showed up, and neither did Shorena, so I was just sitting there in the teacher's room very confused for like an hour! And then 5th period hour was over and all the teachers came back in and Nona said to me "you don't have a lesson." And I showed her my schedule again and she said "I don't think you have a lesson." Then a few minutes later she indicated that lessons were over because the teachers were having a party, but no one had told me about this ahead of time and I didn't even know if I was supposed to be involved in the party somehow. So I was trying to ask her if I was supposed to go home or be at the party, but she just kept telling me to ask Shorena (and I had no idea where Shorena was and hadn't seen her for over an hour). So I went into the Director's office, where everyone just made me sit on a chair and couldn't tell me what was going on because no one speaks English. But then I just kept getting people saying the word "concert" and "party" and "home" so I still had no idea if I was supposed to go home, or if they were saying I was going to a concert or if they were saying I go home and Shorena was at a concert. It was just very stressful. Then, to make matters worse, an old man who works at the school came in the room and said my name and started gesturing wildly towards the left (which was a direction that was both down a hallway and if outside, toward my house!).
Then Nona came in and said "come with me" and took me into a room down the hall that was FULL of students and teachers! And there was a stage and piano! And there wasn't nearly enough chairs for everyone so everyone was sharing the uncomfortable chairs, which wasn't all that bad, just strange. So the singing was pretty good. All I could get out of it was "deda" and "sakartvelo" which means they were singing about mothers and Georgia. Also, there were a bunch of students reading/reciting long things in Georgian, and then a couple of teachers had long things written to the teacher who was retiring (Did I mention that this event was for Women's Day and also for a lady's retirement?), and one of the teachers started crying as she read what she had written for her retiring friend. I wonder what it said. So this went on for approximately 1 hour and 20 minutes.
After that, I thought we were going home, but Shorena told me to stay with her and she took me into the 9th grade classroom--completely decked out with food! There was khinkali, khachapuri, sodas, and cake! A ton of it. So this was great. Except no one could speak English except Shorena, who was not sitting near me. I sat between the Director, Shorena's sister and the three oldest women including the retiring woman (who had worked at the school for 50 years! So when I say old... she was old). And then the retiring woman was going on and on about me in Georgian (I'd never even met her before) but Shorena said she was telling me I was nice and a fine girl and cute and she likes me. How people decide this when I'm sitting silently and stuffing my face, I don't know. So I just stuffed my face and ate cake and drank mineral water. It occurred to me that even though I did hate mineral water 3 weeks ago, I don't anymore. It tastes normal. This also happened with cottage cheese. I used to hate it before I came here, and now I enjoy it WAY too much. Like I think about throughout the day.
Ok, well, that was my weird day. I don't know why the first part was just so stressful and all I wanted for a few minutes was to be home where things made sense. But part of me, although I love it, never wants to go back to Chico. It's funny because I know that Chico will be exactly the same as always when I come back and that is very comforting but also very stressful at the same time. So I'm trying not to think about it.
Lately, Cort and I have been spending a lot of time trying to figure out where we should go when we get done teaching and before we head back to the US. It's difficult because I'm poor but this is a really good time to go places since I'm already over here.
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