Excuse

Using "I'm leaving in ___" as an easy way to defer all of my "problems." I wonder what I'll do when I'm back for real and don't have that excuse anymore.

Places

There are so many beautiful places in the world that it completely overwhelms me. It's like my friends who worry when they think about all the books and how they will never be able to read them all in their lifetime. How will I ever see all these places? How will I even decide which one to see next?

19 or any time

I don’t know what love is. I don’t know what it feels like. It’s been too long for me to be able to resurrect any leftover bits of it and believe that it exists somewhere.

I thought I wanted to be alone, to find who I am, to live selfishly. All I have found is that I am nothing without someone’s perception of me. I am not beautiful on my own. I am not purposeful.

I don’t want to kiss someone else. I don’t want anyone to stay the night.

I want to curl up and watch the Christmas tree lights blur in my vision. I want to eat and spend money and try to find a way to make myself more suitable for the independent situation.

But it doesn’t work. I just see all the other girls who are prettier than I am. Girls who want people to stay the night--who want to kiss whoever wants to kiss them.

I am broke and still alone and I don’t care what anyone says. There is only one person that matters to me and I haven’t even found him yet.

Lily Allen cover of Everybody's Changing by Keane