Thursday, October 27, 2011

An open letter

If I could tell you anything, I would tell you not to accept what your culture has laid in front of you.
I would tell you not to settle.
I would tell you that you should keep going, no matter what. 
Don't marry the first man who comes your way. 
Don't give up for the sake of simplicity and societal norms. 
Keep learning. 
Find a way to achieve your goals. 
See more of the world than you ever though you would see.  
Ignore the negativity you will inevitably meet. Don't let the difficulties stand in your way. Don't let anyone tell you you aren't good enough. 
Don't let your mother, or your grandmother, or you great grandmother's choices affect the person you will become. 
Find the light in your life and follow it. 
Don't let any man be your soul source of happiness, because you will be disappointed. 
When someone enters your life, love them, even if they are unpleasant. 
Never take anyone or anything for granted. You have been given more than some people will ever know. 
You are smart, even if you don't think you are. 
You are beautiful, even when you feel ugly. 
Be someone that other would like to know. Don't let your bad days bring anyone else down. 
Keep going. Keep going. Keep going. 
If everything else fails, don't fail yourself. 
Never look back on your life wishing you had done things you didn't do because you were afraid. 
Don't be afraid. You can achieve so much; I know it. 
And if no one else thinks you can make it: I do.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

--

"She was in love now, set for the eternal romance that was to be the synthesis of all romance, yet sad for these men and these moonlights and for the 'thrills' she had had--and the kisses. The past--her past, oh, what a joy! She had been exuberantly happy."
-- The Beautiful and Damned, F. Scott Fitzgerald

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

From the hips

"We're all just trying to play our rolls
In a play that runs ad nauseam 
I hate this damn enlightenment
We were better off as animals, right?"

Monday, October 17, 2011

dating, sex, blah blah blah

And now, since it's a hot topic in the blog-world, I'll write about dating, sex, tlg, blah blah blah in Georgia. My entry isn't the most serious of blog entries, but I'm not the most serious person. Just thought I'd give a different perspective on a topic that seems to be debated sometimes. I mean, doesn't EVERYONE considering coming to Georgia worry about getting laid alllll the time? Ha.

Here are some things I have heard about sex/gender/dating/etc.:
*Georgian guys are sleazy
This can be true. But saying every Georgian guy is sleazy is stupid. I mean, we all get annoyed when guys hit on us like crazy, but this happens in the US or Canada or England or where-ever else as well. Georgian guys can be forward. Sometimes they will ask for you number a million times and will not accept "no" for an answer. Sometimes you will give a normal-seeming guy your number and he will call you eight times in a row from multiple phone numbers when you don't answer. But really, have you never been to a bar and gotten a creeper bothering you? If you haven't, you don't go out enough. In a way, I think the persistence of a Georgian man almost deserves some respect. He sees something he likes and he goes for it. Better than some wimpy whiny kid who will write a song about never being able to be with you after seeing you on a subway once (p.s. you'll probably get hit on while riding the metro).
--prime example--
There are a million normal Georgian guys. My friend C gets guys driving her home all the time. I don't particularly recommend getting in a car with a strange man who pulls over next to you and says "I see you walking a lot. I want to meet you," but if you are daring, may as well try it. C has made some pretty nice friends this way! And gotten free rides! And so far they haven't done anything creepier than this. Well, one of them professed his lover for her and bought her roses, but he took it like a man when she explained that she had a boyfriend back home. They are still friends. Not sleazy. And definitely not a date-rapist.
Of course, I say all this, but there are some sleazy guys here. I have had one bad experience so far, but the guy was actually from Azerbaijan. He got me on a balcony and was trying to kiss me and wouldn't let go. It was scary but I escaped. Take note, though, this could happen anywhere. I have friends in my hometown that have been assaulted and/or raped, and we live in a relatively safe place. Be careful girls, no matter where in the world you are.

*Georgian guys suck in bed
This is something I have no personal experience with. Sorry, I haven't slept with a Georgian, or really anyone  here for that matter. I have made out with one Georgian guy. It wasn't the worst thing in the world; it wasn't the best thing in the world. I have friends who have slept with Georgian guys. I know people who have Georgian boyfriends. If the sex was THAT terrible, I doubt they would stay together too long. Maybe that's shallow of me to say, but... if you're only in the country for a short period of time, wouldn't you want a boyfriend who at least was good in bed? Good reasoning, right? As for the one night stands I've heard about, seems like they haven't been the best. But then again, it's drunk random one-time sex, if the guy isn't paying all that much attention to what the girl wants he could just be being selfish--after all, he'll probably never see her again; who cares what she wants? I mean, that's rude of the guy. Guys should always care about what the girl wants! But you know, some times a girl doesn't want to give a guy a blow job either! It's your prerogative  And keep in mind, if you suck too bad--word will get out and you may never get sex again! That's my advice to guys who don't try to make the girl happy while they are hooking up. Guys around the world!!! Not only Georgians. 

*Georgian girls won't have sex with you
Even if they won't have sex with you, I won't either, and I'm an American.
But yeah, because girls are a bit more repressed in society here than they are in more Westernized countries, it's generally frowned upon for girls to be sexually active before marriage. I don't think this means every girl is necessarily against hooking up with someone they are into, but don't expect it to be like going to Sweden or something where sex is pretty acceptable. If you do date a girl, if she isn't into having sex with you, don't push the idea. There's nothing worse than a douche who tries to persuade you to do him when you just don't want to! Deal breaker for sure! But I see so many girls and guys making out in parks that I can tell there's some action to be had at least, maybe not "home run" status, but it's something, if you're really worried about it. And if you are REALLY worried about it, get a prostitute (see following bullet points). It's less effort and might even be cheaper in the long run-- no wining and dining. 

*Georgian girls suck in bed
If two people both suck in bed and don't know it, do they still think the other person sucks in bed? If all Georgian guys suck in bed, and all Georgian girls suck in bed, then wouldn't it not even matter? Until they try to get with a person who claims to not suck in bed. And what if you suck in bed and just don't know it?
Anyway, I've never had sex with a Georgian girl, so who knows. But I'm sure there is not an entire country full of people (of any gender) that just innately sucks at having sex. Maybe they don't get as much practice as some people in more promiscuous countries, but I'm sure 16 year olds who are having sex in the US aren't very good in bed either. If you want to have sex with a Georgian girl, from what I've heard, it's probably going to take a bit of wooing on your part anyway, so if you're willing to put in the effort to get that far into the relationship, you should probably be nice enough to not judge her abilities in bed anyway, unless you're an asshole... which maybe you are if you are dating someone JUST because you want to have sex with them.

*All Georgian men sleep with hookers
During orientation we were told that Georgian men all sleep with prostitutes because the Georgian girls were expected to be virgins until marriage. And after marriage it is still acceptable for the men to sleep with other women besides their wives. I really am not sure if this is true. I haven't asked enough men to know and in this case I think I might be better off not knowing. I did have one friend, though whose host-brother took him to a brothel somewhere in Tbilisi and the whole experience seemed incredibly awkward. This is reasoning enough to know that some Georgians go to hookers, but I can't really believe that everyone of them does. As for hookers, I heard a rumor that a lot of them are Ukrainian or Russian. But then again... (see next bullet)

*Some TLGs sleep with hookers
The same friend who went to the brothel with his host-brother slept with a Georgian girl. Of course, he told me that he "met a Georgian girl" and slept with her. We were a little surprised because from everything we've heard, Georgian girls don't usually sleep with guys they just met. Come to find out (through the grapevine), he indeed picked a prostitute from the brothel and slept with her. I have also heard (through more grapevines) about other guys who like to sleep with prostitutes every so often in Georgia. It doesn't seem totally outlandish. My advice--if you're going to do it, don't tell anyone, because everyone in TLG will find out. Unless of course you are proud of the fact that you have to pay for sex. Then by all means, tell people. As a side-note, this "grapevine" analogy makes perfect sense to me today for the first time. After a trip to Kakheti to pick grapes, I see how easy it could be to whisper interesting tid-bits through the vines to people also picking grapes on the other side!

*Guys and girls can't be friends with each other
Maybe a guy wants more from a girl, but if she friend-zones him, what can you do? And the other way around. One of my Georgian friends told me once (while he was wasted, after threatening to bride-nap me to Batumi) that you can't be friends with the opposite gender unless you want to do them, at least a little bit. I have other (American, girl) friends who have many Georgian male-friends. The guys basically are in love with her, but she's made it clear it's just not gonna happen, and they are still friends. Maybe they will every once in a while send some awkward texts about how she's so amazing, but that's flattering and easy to ignore for the sake of keeping someone as a friend. I'm still friends with the dude who threatened to bride-nap me, and I don't want to kiss him these days (it was a long time ago!), but we're still on good terms. He helped me find my apartment. I ran into him the other day at the store and we had a nice chat. Then he sent me an awkward text about how gorgeous I looked, but it was flattering. Still friends. I'll just ignore the weird parts. I have friends like that at home too. My last boyfriend was always saying he thought most of my male friends wanted to hook up with me secretly; I don't believe it, but you never know I guess. I mean, I have male friends who I secretly think are hot too. But we are just friends, and neither one of us care enough to do anything about it, so we can just be friends. That's how it works.

*In TLG everyone hooks up with each other
TLG is so incestuous it's disgusting. You are in a random country with a lot of people who speak minimal amounts of English. When you get with others who speak English fluently, who understand weird slang and innuendo, it feels like complete freedom! And of course, our get-togethers usually involve alcohol. Things happen. People you may never have spoken to while at home are suddenly your best friends. You rely on these people a lot. When you have a bad day, you call them. When you get lost, you call them. When you are annoyed at a particular student, you call them. When you miss home, you call them. You get close quickly. And in the same way you become friends, it's easy for other things to happen. You're annoyed at a Georgian guy who called you 8 times in one day? You drink some vodka and kiss a TLG boy instead. You are feeling repressed by the village gossip? You go to Tbilisi where no-one knows you and drink some vodka and kiss a TLG boy. Yeah, it happens. Sometimes people make out on the dance floor. Sometimes people go hook-up in parks or unfortunately in the hostel dorm-room you are trying to sleep in.  Sometimes people fall in love. In my group last semester, a guy from England and a girl from Oklahoma met during orientation and we all watched and waited as the two love-birds slowly started a relationship (we could all see from a mile away), and it was adorable. Still it's pretty adorable, if you like that nauseating boyfriend/girlfriend stuff! Of course, that doesn't happen quite as often as the random encounters.

*Everyone hooks up in parks
The young'ns seem to like this tactic. Parents don't like their kids to do things under their roof. I don't think parents particularly like that anywhere. It must be traumatic for a parent to walk in on their teenage kids doing inappropriate things. In Georgia, the young people go make-out in parks. Chances are, if you go to a park, you'll see some very interesting happenings. It's sort of like watching a car-wreck. You just can't look away. Yesterday there were a couple teenagers making out on top of a big rock in a park in central Tbilisi. And by making out on a rock I mean the girl was on top of the guy and his back was arched in a very uncomfortable looking way over the rock. And then the policeman patrolling the park got mad at my friend for having his shoe on the bench, but said nothing about the make-out kids. I guess he must remember what it was like when he was a Georgian 16 year olds trying to get his kicks somewhere.
As for TLGs, I have also heard of people making out in parks. Most TLGs live with host families, which I suppose makes having sex awkward. I can't imagine anything weirder than trying to bring home a guy/girl while living a room away from a family you don't know very well and maybe don't even speak the same language as. So, TLGs get creative. Sometimes it just ends up that they go to a hostel for a night, which sucks, because usually there are other people in the hostel room and it sucks for those people who are sleeping innocently and wake up to see someone's naked butt and awkward sound affects from the next bunk over (I know this sucks because I've been the sleeping person woken up by not-so-quiet couples multiple times). Other times, they go to parks. Or make out on balconies. Or benches. Or bathrooms. Pretty much anywhere except at home. But watch-out. I heard a rumor that one person was doing some inappropriate things where there were biting ants around and she had an allergic reaction to them and had to go to the hospital. Pretty gnarly. 

*You will be bride napped
You will not be bride napped.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Never gets old

No way, no how!

Tutoring:
Tutoring man #2 for the first time went alright. Moderately awkward but nothing too unbearable. Next time (Friday) we are going to have a lesson about music where we talk about song lyrics from songs we like. Hence me going on a while Hanson video watching tangent. Tutoring man #1 is still fine, I've been there three times this week already and going again on Friday. We were going to be meeting 8 times a month, but we are halfway to that point in like one week, so maybe we will meet more. He said he would pay me every 8 lessons. Hooray! It's so weird reading a guy's unfinished screenplay. Especially since he's actually planning to film it next year. So does this mean if it sucks it's partially my fault? I'm not an editor, just trying to fix major issues. Thank God I have a decent knowledge of grammar rules, otherwise it would be difficult. Have you ever, on the spot, had to explain someone when to use "intense" vs. "intensive?" That's one I had to think about and get back to him on. Also, I got to explain comma vs. semicolon, "then" vs. "than," the difference between "massage" and "message," and "score" vs. "scholar" (random, right?).  Also, our lessons always end up being over and hour long but it's not weird at all. He probably thinks I'm weird though. But then again, he was the one who was hungover the other day asking "what do you drink in America when you have a hangover?" and then he offered me whiskey (I declined) and he drank a glass of vodka.

Today I was finally given copies of textbooks for school. I got copies of every book EXCEPT book #1. Including book #5 and #6 which NONE of my classes use. But guess what? 12 of the 20 hours I teach each week use only book #1. Typical.

I'm averaging about 5lari a week on bus/metro tickets. Adds up quick. I guess it doesn't help that I am now going to school, back from school, to Freedom Square/Rustaveli and back home from Freedom Square/Rustaveli almost every day now thanks to tutoring as well as wanting to do fun things (that usually ends up meaning going downtown). But whatevs, could be worse! And bus #61 is the shit. Takes us right up to our apartment practically, but doesn't come as often as some of the other ones like #87, 88 or 140. And 88 has the worst breaks that are super loud and screechy. Bus 87 is smaller. Yeah. I'm on my blog listing out facts about the bus. Lame.

I'm not sick yet, but I feel like I might be on the verge. I had a sore throat the last two nights, nothing too bad, but enough to make me paranoid. Mostly because Lydia's had a cold for about a week now and Nick got strep throat. I REALLY don't want strep. I've heard nothing but terrible things about it for years and have been lucky enough not to have gotten it yet. Considering we are all sharing food/drinks/whatever-else all the time it seems like I might be doomed. Maybe not. I'll hope for the best.

Oh and best news! We have this Friday off! Three day weekends are the best! Even if I have to tutor on my "day off;" it doesn't count!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

pretentious DBs

It annoys me how many times people who are new to things they are greeted first by the pretentious douche bags of the world, because those are the people who feel they are God's-gift-to-Earth and in fact, though living through the same experiences as everyone else, somehow have gleaned more knowledge and understanding of said situations. So they write ten-page long blog entries about how correct they have been in every situation, when everyone else was just so wrong. They go on to list of every possible qualification they may possess that can sort-of back up their reasoning, because you know, one linguistics class and an intro to psychology class makes you both a linguist and psychologist! And therefore if you don't like someone's particular use or disuse of an oxford comma, it's totally legitimate for you to diss the person publicly because, damn you're a grammar genius!
I don't even know where I'm going with this. Just annoyed by some people and how they pretend to know everything, and how sometimes, people fall for it because they don't understand yet. But I think, after a while, the truth comes out anyway.

little bits

Living in Tbilisi is basically the best thing ever. It's like I'm living a normal life for the most part. I can do whatever I want. I can go wherever I want, whenever I want. I cook my own food. I shower when I feel like it. It's great.
School could be better. I could be doing more. I could have books. I could be more respected by the crazy 6th graders. But it's not terrible, and compared to what it was like before in the village I can't complain at all.
I feel generally happy. I get a little sad when I think about December and leaving and knowing that this time I won't be coming back. I try not to think about it. I don't know how I'm going to be able to stay content in Chico after living somewhere I think is so great and lovely for the most part, but I'll figure it out.

In other news; Lydia and I have spent so much time watching bad music videos from 10 years ago that it's ridiculous. And about half of our conversations are dominated by "what should we be for Halloween?" I am pretty sure I'm going to be a unicorn, but not quite sure I'll be able to pull it off. Especially with not knowing how to get anything I want to get for it while in Georgia. Like, do they have tinsel here? They must, but where? Who knows? Or like, the strongest hair spray ever. And body glitter.
Today we bought a hair straightener after complaining about how we wished we had one for the past almost-a-month. It cost more than I probably should be spending on a hair straightener, but I'm just that vain.
We eat pasta every day. And friend potatoes a lot. And khatchapuri way more than I should ever admit to anyone.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

I feel weird

For no particular reason. Or maybe there is a particular reason. I don't know. I just feel weird. 
It seems like none of my actions lately have any legitimate purpose and I'm kind of just flaling around in the world doing dumb things just for the sake of doing something at all. And then I get myself in strange situations and then get annoyed at myself for it when maybe that's what I've been wanting all along!